Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Writing is a dirty devil

My story is lacking commitment.

I figured it out. I have this problem in a lot of areas-strangely enough relationships not being one of them-regardless-

In my martial arts class I'm always being told to flesh out the movements a bit more, get into them, give them a little more oomph. Take them to their fullest. I tend to gloss over things a bit more...just naturally inclined that way.

So when I'm reading through my story-especially the last chapters, I'm realizing that I haven't really committed to anything-I've got the idea, I've got the "moments" that are supposed to mean something but I get into "gloss over" mode and I don't really write the moment. I get the bones and then expect people to get really excited hehe. Or something. So bearing this in mind-and hopefully without getting incredibly wordy and reaching for straws, I will attempt to actually write this thing-which sounds silly. I think I get scared away of what people may or may not think about my own sanity or my own personal values based on the things I write about. The thing is, I'm not writing my life story. They know that. I know that. I'm writing from the perspective of someone else entirely-in theory. And therefore, I can do what I want or what the story dictates. Something that makes things a little more interesting.

I've said it before, but there's something intimidating about putting things down in black and white because it makes them seem more real.

When I want to write something intense and sensuous and whatever, or completly the opposite, really awkward and open and quirky, I get tied up in the fear that people are going to overlay what my characters do and say and think about, onto me, without knowing me. I guess in someways it woudn't be a bad thing but at the same time-it's something I need to just get over.

Alrighty-making a late dinner and then perhaps attempting this monster. I swear I'll keep moving.

The abridged version of this post could have read: I am going to make a pledge to stop half assing everything I do.

1 comment:

Steve Malley said...

Writing the truth is *lots* worse than standing naked in front of a crowd. (no, that's *not* a metaphor. It's true)

But it's what you have to do. ANd oddly, the more frightening and intimate the truth you tell, the more likely other folks are to read it and go, 'hey, that's so me...'

You can do it!!