Maybe not exactly in German...but partially about Germany...how's that?
I rolled off the plane last week from beautiful Deutschland after being gone for twelve days with a friend of mine and I think I have more wanderlust now than I did before I left. Not the same restless, crazy "gotta go somewhere" right now sort of wanderlust that I had as I was boarding the plane but a desire to do something bigger than just a vacation.
I did just move into a snazzy new apartment so maybe that will help. We'll see what manifests in the coming months.
The trip itself was nothing short of amazing. It did all the things it was supposed to do in so many ways. My travel buddy and I hiked into the Alps and spent a night in a hut surrounded by mountains. This being the age of technology that it is, however, we were still able to update Facebook about how primitive and rustic our lodgings were....oh the irony. We also caught some of the Bavarian futbol game via iPhone from the next table over.
We also hit up Oktoberfest in Munich. No beer was had (12 Euro for a beer????) but we rode a ton of roller coasters and generally just played at the fair. And looked at all the cute girls dressed in Dirndl and all the cute boys dressed in lederhosen. No, really. They sell all the modern versions of those old time Bavarian favorites. I have to admit, some of them are really damn cute. Silly. But cute. (The dirndl's...not the Germans wearing them neccessarily. Though some of them weren't too bad either.)
Post Oktoberfest we shuffled over to Rothenburg ob der Tauber and then on to Koln to stay with a friend. We also managed, on our way into Munich, to swing by and spend an evening with the family I lived with in Stuttgart. That was a lot of fun. We had dinner and I got to chat and catch up with them which was nice. I swear this time I'm going to be better about mailing things over to that side of the pond...I have a small pile of things for Die Kinder and their mom that I need to drop in the post.
The weather was beautiful the whole time we were there which everyone said was due to dumb luck. I tend to agree with the Irish. You bring the weather with you-if you expect it to be rainy and crappy then it will be. If you don't...well you see the logic here.
The next step: trying to figure out how to study in Germany...in German...with Germans!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Ok, so I'm trend whoring a bit....just a little...
I write like
David Foster Wallace
David Foster Wallace
I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!
Finding the border balance
So, this week marks the second official week after the KC Fringe Festival. What a crazy ride that was for me and everyone else involved.
Last year, I participated in the Fringe Festival as a volunteer. I was shuffled from venue to venue taking tickets, seating people, learning how to tech (!!) a space for the Youth Fringe members and generally running around.
If some of you were reading this blog back then, you'll probably remember me squawking about the lack of direction and general "in chargness" that the Visual Arts Fringe portion had...well, turns out when you squawk loudly enough, you get hired! And thus began the journey of organizing and herding (yes, like cows and sheep and other various farm animals) all the Visual Artists for the Festival this year.
Mind you, I can't organize my car. I don't keep a budget. I hardly remember what day it is sometimes. But, off to organizing I was. And overall, I think (think) it turned out pretty well. I was in a constant state of panic and general frenzy the whole time but aside from the impending sense of "oh god what am I doing", it was fun and a great learning experience.
Almost all of the artists were fantastic to work with. They put in a lot of additional hours to help hang, clean and dismantle all of the odds and ends that it takes to hang 21 artists in a room that is, suddenly, not as big as you thought it was when you agreed to the venue.
There were challenges with working with that many people-there always will be-but I think I at least learned a few valuable lessons about learning to listen while still drawing boundaries around which bits people say actually matter and which don't.
I also got a taste of what it means to try and fit a bunch of egos in one place. Wow. Let me tell you, there are some people in this world who need a whole room just to contain how much they think of themselves and the work they make....not to mention the work itself!
Egads. It took a lot for me to not remind certain people that yes, you have a lot of work and no, it's not all worth hanging. In fact, I would argue that most of it was pretty pointless. Ahem. I can't say that though. Not really. At least not to most people's faces. I just don't understand people who spend more time talking about their work than they do making the stuff. It seems, in most cases, at least, that their time could be better spent.
On the other hand, we had some really good work up too. This year marked a successful turnout for artists in general. The plays were great-one of our local UMKC directors put out another stellar performance called "Head" which was a sordid, sexually charged, awesome retelling of the St. John The Baptist and Solome story. Really great. 90 minutes, straight through with no intermission and some really gritty scenes that I appreciated for the honesty above all else.
Hats off to the actors as well-they busted their asses to make that play work and will continue to bust their asses until the work is deemed finish by the director/writer.
But, back to my group. As I said, we had some really great artists show this year. It makes me very excited for who is going to return and who will come out of the woodwork for next year. If we can continue to blast the quality of artists through the atmosphere like we did this year-we'll be well on our way to being taken seriously in this Festival. "Beginner gains" though can be deceptive. As the quality goes up it'll get harder and harder to out do ourselves from year to year. It's that sort of catch 22 that lets you rocket to a good middle ground but then simultaneously lose and gain ground as you try to break into the "Really Good" category. The ever elusive box called "Successful."
For those of you who aren't familiar with Fringe or the theories behind it, you can go here: www.kcfringe.org and check out the "what's the fringe" page. It gives you a brief background and history on how the Fringe got its start.
Other cities also put on some really fantastic Fringes of their own-Minneapolis and Boulder are just two examples that come to mind. I'm hoping to go out there one of these days and see how they do it-but for now I"ll have to entertain myself with their websites and learn everything I can from talking to positively everyone I can to learn as much as I can between now and next year.
And yes, that means learning how to listen to those people who have been around long enough to build up giant egos and may not make the kind of art that I would make or do make (hopefully) but who have some invaluable experience and connections that make the overall experience of Fringe richer and more....possible.
I'll have pictures of this experience up shortly I do believe. I just have to bring myself to go through all of them. (c:
Last year, I participated in the Fringe Festival as a volunteer. I was shuffled from venue to venue taking tickets, seating people, learning how to tech (!!) a space for the Youth Fringe members and generally running around.
If some of you were reading this blog back then, you'll probably remember me squawking about the lack of direction and general "in chargness" that the Visual Arts Fringe portion had...well, turns out when you squawk loudly enough, you get hired! And thus began the journey of organizing and herding (yes, like cows and sheep and other various farm animals) all the Visual Artists for the Festival this year.
Mind you, I can't organize my car. I don't keep a budget. I hardly remember what day it is sometimes. But, off to organizing I was. And overall, I think (think) it turned out pretty well. I was in a constant state of panic and general frenzy the whole time but aside from the impending sense of "oh god what am I doing", it was fun and a great learning experience.
Almost all of the artists were fantastic to work with. They put in a lot of additional hours to help hang, clean and dismantle all of the odds and ends that it takes to hang 21 artists in a room that is, suddenly, not as big as you thought it was when you agreed to the venue.
There were challenges with working with that many people-there always will be-but I think I at least learned a few valuable lessons about learning to listen while still drawing boundaries around which bits people say actually matter and which don't.
I also got a taste of what it means to try and fit a bunch of egos in one place. Wow. Let me tell you, there are some people in this world who need a whole room just to contain how much they think of themselves and the work they make....not to mention the work itself!
Egads. It took a lot for me to not remind certain people that yes, you have a lot of work and no, it's not all worth hanging. In fact, I would argue that most of it was pretty pointless. Ahem. I can't say that though. Not really. At least not to most people's faces. I just don't understand people who spend more time talking about their work than they do making the stuff. It seems, in most cases, at least, that their time could be better spent.
On the other hand, we had some really good work up too. This year marked a successful turnout for artists in general. The plays were great-one of our local UMKC directors put out another stellar performance called "Head" which was a sordid, sexually charged, awesome retelling of the St. John The Baptist and Solome story. Really great. 90 minutes, straight through with no intermission and some really gritty scenes that I appreciated for the honesty above all else.
Hats off to the actors as well-they busted their asses to make that play work and will continue to bust their asses until the work is deemed finish by the director/writer.
But, back to my group. As I said, we had some really great artists show this year. It makes me very excited for who is going to return and who will come out of the woodwork for next year. If we can continue to blast the quality of artists through the atmosphere like we did this year-we'll be well on our way to being taken seriously in this Festival. "Beginner gains" though can be deceptive. As the quality goes up it'll get harder and harder to out do ourselves from year to year. It's that sort of catch 22 that lets you rocket to a good middle ground but then simultaneously lose and gain ground as you try to break into the "Really Good" category. The ever elusive box called "Successful."
For those of you who aren't familiar with Fringe or the theories behind it, you can go here: www.kcfringe.org and check out the "what's the fringe" page. It gives you a brief background and history on how the Fringe got its start.
Other cities also put on some really fantastic Fringes of their own-Minneapolis and Boulder are just two examples that come to mind. I'm hoping to go out there one of these days and see how they do it-but for now I"ll have to entertain myself with their websites and learn everything I can from talking to positively everyone I can to learn as much as I can between now and next year.
And yes, that means learning how to listen to those people who have been around long enough to build up giant egos and may not make the kind of art that I would make or do make (hopefully) but who have some invaluable experience and connections that make the overall experience of Fringe richer and more....possible.
I'll have pictures of this experience up shortly I do believe. I just have to bring myself to go through all of them. (c:
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Masters, Margaritas and Demanding People
Sorry for the long hiatus. I've been..well...busy. (c:
The life of an artist is never dull I guess. I've had projects and things like my real job trying to drown me.
I should learn how to say no.
I have found time to read some outstanding books, though. That's a plus. I've been turned onto some Russian literature by a co-worker of mine and it's really fantastic. This particular co-worker is actually Russian so I've been able to go directly to a source and say "what is this referencing?" It's been great.
My first venture into this wide world of wonderful stories was called "The Master and Margarita." It's by Mikhail Bulgakov. Once I got into the flow of things and figured out who everyone was and what all their nicknames and professional names and surnames and the such were, I found the story to be really engaging. It's a politically charged near satire of 1930's Russia. Sort of. And a love story. And a commentary on what it means to be creative. And philosophical. And spiritual.
There are a handful of main characters, one of which is Satan. The Devil himself shows up in Moscow on a spring day and begins to wreak havoc in a very distracting and anti-theme of the times way. (What's not to love already?!?)
The tone is at times deadly serious but there is always a subtle undercurrent of irony. The book is divided into two sections: the first deals with one of the main characters (not Satan) named Ivan Ivanovich who is a writer. The second deals with Margarita-a woman who has fallen in love with a man who calls himself The Master. The Master was/is a writer and has written a book on Pontius Pilot. It causes him to fall out of favor with the government and gets him committed to an insane asylum. Meanwhile, Ivanovich's tale begins with him as he witnesses the death of his friend, Berlioz, (which was prophesied to happen by the Devil himself during a conversation in a park) and sort of goes off the deep end. Ivanovich ends up in the same looney bin as The Master. It's a beautiful commentary on what it means to be "insane" in a time when freedom was a dirty word. Mix all this in with the "real time" telling of the events surrounding Pontius Pilot(pitched at times as part of the manuscript The Master wrote and at times as current day events) and a prophet named Yeshua as well as a very intense demonic ball towards the end of the story and you have an experience that is unlike anything I've read all wrapped up with a cleverly designed cover.
Reading The Master and Margarita and then trying to explain it is a bit like trying to talk about a dream that you had three years ago but that you still have vivid recollections of...or like trying to explain what exactly it is you're seeing when you catch something out of the corner of your eye but isn't actually there when you turn around.
All of those things cause very real, emotional memories and the general sense of an "experience" but when you have to find words to give light and structure and concreteness to them, they begin to vaporize. I could give a very long and drawn out plot synopsis but it would ruin the story while simultaneously completely failing at conveying what the story is "about".
It's a book where what it's about is not just related to the story that is being told. It's about the experience of the book. It's about all the things that were going on historically when the book was written. It's about the fact that-to quote the book-"handwritten manuscripts don't burn"-which in an age of nothing but propaganda (both now and then) is such a beautiful thought that it could make me cry if I thought about it long enough. The character that says it in the book makes it all the more powerful of a statement.
My second venture into Russian literature is Boris Pasternak's "Dr. Zhivago". I tried to read this book once, when I was 14, and it went straight over my head. I'm thrilled to have the chance to settle into it this time though, now that I'm more prepared. Russian literature isn't something you just sort of accidentally read.
Here's a random tidbit. I got interested in The Master and Margarita through a play that was put on by the grad students at UMKC. My first experience with Dr. Zhivago was the movie with Omar Shariff (spelling?) and Julie Christie. I'm named after her character-I'm excited to see how the book tells their story versus what Hollywood did with it. I can already tell that things are going to be very different.
The demanding people mentioned in this post's title are managing to pull me away from all this great reading (which hasn't just included Russian lit but also some really great, fun, entirely indulgent fantasy novels I've been reading) and it's beginning to grate.
I get that as someone who is trying to make an established name for themselves and their work that you have to take on projects to gain experience. My beef comes in when people pitch a project to you, drag their feet for 5 months (5!!!), and then suddenly crack down with demands of an expected due date. Oh, and did I mention they have started telling everyone but you, their designer, that they have all sorts of functionality expectations? The poor messenger that's been working with me directly on the project is not really to blame for any of this poor planning...but it's still just a crock.
The thing that really kills me is how little compensation is involved. If they were paying me like a standard client would pay me, I could see them getting a little demanding. But they aren't. They aren't even close. I was fine with this until now. Augh. Pft.
To end on a less gripe-y note: I am the Visual Arts Director for the KC Fringe Festival this year. I'm excited about all the potential and new endeavors! I've got a long "To Do" list for it but I think I can knock a good portion of the really important stuff out in a few concerted hours of work.
Well-it's late. As always. And the weather has been beautiful and I got new road bike cleats and shoes today and I intend to go a-riding. Clear out some of the stress and insanity that keeps trying to accrue like debt and plaque in my brain.
The life of an artist is never dull I guess. I've had projects and things like my real job trying to drown me.
I should learn how to say no.
I have found time to read some outstanding books, though. That's a plus. I've been turned onto some Russian literature by a co-worker of mine and it's really fantastic. This particular co-worker is actually Russian so I've been able to go directly to a source and say "what is this referencing?" It's been great.
My first venture into this wide world of wonderful stories was called "The Master and Margarita." It's by Mikhail Bulgakov. Once I got into the flow of things and figured out who everyone was and what all their nicknames and professional names and surnames and the such were, I found the story to be really engaging. It's a politically charged near satire of 1930's Russia. Sort of. And a love story. And a commentary on what it means to be creative. And philosophical. And spiritual.
There are a handful of main characters, one of which is Satan. The Devil himself shows up in Moscow on a spring day and begins to wreak havoc in a very distracting and anti-theme of the times way. (What's not to love already?!?)
The tone is at times deadly serious but there is always a subtle undercurrent of irony. The book is divided into two sections: the first deals with one of the main characters (not Satan) named Ivan Ivanovich who is a writer. The second deals with Margarita-a woman who has fallen in love with a man who calls himself The Master. The Master was/is a writer and has written a book on Pontius Pilot. It causes him to fall out of favor with the government and gets him committed to an insane asylum. Meanwhile, Ivanovich's tale begins with him as he witnesses the death of his friend, Berlioz, (which was prophesied to happen by the Devil himself during a conversation in a park) and sort of goes off the deep end. Ivanovich ends up in the same looney bin as The Master. It's a beautiful commentary on what it means to be "insane" in a time when freedom was a dirty word. Mix all this in with the "real time" telling of the events surrounding Pontius Pilot(pitched at times as part of the manuscript The Master wrote and at times as current day events) and a prophet named Yeshua as well as a very intense demonic ball towards the end of the story and you have an experience that is unlike anything I've read all wrapped up with a cleverly designed cover.
Reading The Master and Margarita and then trying to explain it is a bit like trying to talk about a dream that you had three years ago but that you still have vivid recollections of...or like trying to explain what exactly it is you're seeing when you catch something out of the corner of your eye but isn't actually there when you turn around.
All of those things cause very real, emotional memories and the general sense of an "experience" but when you have to find words to give light and structure and concreteness to them, they begin to vaporize. I could give a very long and drawn out plot synopsis but it would ruin the story while simultaneously completely failing at conveying what the story is "about".
It's a book where what it's about is not just related to the story that is being told. It's about the experience of the book. It's about all the things that were going on historically when the book was written. It's about the fact that-to quote the book-"handwritten manuscripts don't burn"-which in an age of nothing but propaganda (both now and then) is such a beautiful thought that it could make me cry if I thought about it long enough. The character that says it in the book makes it all the more powerful of a statement.
My second venture into Russian literature is Boris Pasternak's "Dr. Zhivago". I tried to read this book once, when I was 14, and it went straight over my head. I'm thrilled to have the chance to settle into it this time though, now that I'm more prepared. Russian literature isn't something you just sort of accidentally read.
Here's a random tidbit. I got interested in The Master and Margarita through a play that was put on by the grad students at UMKC. My first experience with Dr. Zhivago was the movie with Omar Shariff (spelling?) and Julie Christie. I'm named after her character-I'm excited to see how the book tells their story versus what Hollywood did with it. I can already tell that things are going to be very different.
The demanding people mentioned in this post's title are managing to pull me away from all this great reading (which hasn't just included Russian lit but also some really great, fun, entirely indulgent fantasy novels I've been reading) and it's beginning to grate.
I get that as someone who is trying to make an established name for themselves and their work that you have to take on projects to gain experience. My beef comes in when people pitch a project to you, drag their feet for 5 months (5!!!), and then suddenly crack down with demands of an expected due date. Oh, and did I mention they have started telling everyone but you, their designer, that they have all sorts of functionality expectations? The poor messenger that's been working with me directly on the project is not really to blame for any of this poor planning...but it's still just a crock.
The thing that really kills me is how little compensation is involved. If they were paying me like a standard client would pay me, I could see them getting a little demanding. But they aren't. They aren't even close. I was fine with this until now. Augh. Pft.
To end on a less gripe-y note: I am the Visual Arts Director for the KC Fringe Festival this year. I'm excited about all the potential and new endeavors! I've got a long "To Do" list for it but I think I can knock a good portion of the really important stuff out in a few concerted hours of work.
Well-it's late. As always. And the weather has been beautiful and I got new road bike cleats and shoes today and I intend to go a-riding. Clear out some of the stress and insanity that keeps trying to accrue like debt and plaque in my brain.
Friday, November 27, 2009
...Post Thanksgiving
It's true that all good things must come to an end. Luckily, so does bad sex.
Just one of those little things in life to be thankful for.
Truly though, it sort of makes you wonder how some people in the world manage to have any fun at all.
Anyway-as we all finish wiping the last of the turkey grease from our fingers, and make yet another turkey-cranberry-stuffing sandwich, I want to know, what things are you thankful for this year? It can be anything. Serious or not. But I'm curious-the goal being to try and avoid too many Hallmark Card slogans or catch phrases.
Some of the things that I've been reflecting on lately:
1. See above.
2. The random people in life who make me laugh and smile-like this kid dressed up in blue jeans, a random Christmas T-Shirt, Santa hat and furry hood thing...sucking on a sucker, holding an empty plastic cup waiting for her dad....and it's 60 degrees outside! (c: I love it. Makes me smile.
3. Dancing to some reggae music that I never would have discovered on my own with a friend last night after some very wonderful conversation. What better way to spend Thanksgiving Night than grooving to some great music in a random little dive bar with a friend? Awesome.
4. Ridiculous blogs that are all about weird, quirky, material that if it weren't for the internet would never see the light of day.
5. My family (cue the Hallmark Home Classic muzak..) but getting to spend time with my dad, without having to invite myself over for Thanksgiving, was really nice. We ate, we talked, I played with the kids (though according to them they were totally ignored) and watched the Cowboys stomp the Raiders. Which doesn't give me too much joy because I hate the Cowboys almost as much as I hate the Raiders but whatever. Someone had to win. The Bronco's did win however, which makes me very happy!
6. The unexpected text message that comes through at the moment when you really, really need reminding who matters in your life and who doesn't. I'm learning on recognizing when The Great Ether is trying to tell me something...at least that's the goal...it's hard to learn how to listen when you've spent most of your life with your fingers shoved in your ears (la la la style).
7. Beautiful, glorious sunshine in which I can ride my road bike. In November!
8. Days spent lounging with a friend, talking about creativity and painting and all that good stuff...even if we never actually got the act of painting. The conversation is sometimes just as important.
9. My Job. I have one. It's real. I pays me consistent money and it allows me time to work on all those projects and things that have been building up. If standing from rooftops screaming about how wonderful it is to work at a place that actually utilizes my strengths wouldn't get me arrested or committed, I'd do it.
10. And finally-though not least importantly-the people in my life that I can call "Friend." The past year was quite a rollercoaster ride-lots of those buzz words like "growth" and "learning" came into play. I hope that this year I can begin to repay all the people who shared what they had with me.
Just one of those little things in life to be thankful for.
Truly though, it sort of makes you wonder how some people in the world manage to have any fun at all.
Anyway-as we all finish wiping the last of the turkey grease from our fingers, and make yet another turkey-cranberry-stuffing sandwich, I want to know, what things are you thankful for this year? It can be anything. Serious or not. But I'm curious-the goal being to try and avoid too many Hallmark Card slogans or catch phrases.
Some of the things that I've been reflecting on lately:
1. See above.
2. The random people in life who make me laugh and smile-like this kid dressed up in blue jeans, a random Christmas T-Shirt, Santa hat and furry hood thing...sucking on a sucker, holding an empty plastic cup waiting for her dad....and it's 60 degrees outside! (c: I love it. Makes me smile.
3. Dancing to some reggae music that I never would have discovered on my own with a friend last night after some very wonderful conversation. What better way to spend Thanksgiving Night than grooving to some great music in a random little dive bar with a friend? Awesome.
4. Ridiculous blogs that are all about weird, quirky, material that if it weren't for the internet would never see the light of day.
5. My family (cue the Hallmark Home Classic muzak..) but getting to spend time with my dad, without having to invite myself over for Thanksgiving, was really nice. We ate, we talked, I played with the kids (though according to them they were totally ignored) and watched the Cowboys stomp the Raiders. Which doesn't give me too much joy because I hate the Cowboys almost as much as I hate the Raiders but whatever. Someone had to win. The Bronco's did win however, which makes me very happy!
6. The unexpected text message that comes through at the moment when you really, really need reminding who matters in your life and who doesn't. I'm learning on recognizing when The Great Ether is trying to tell me something...at least that's the goal...it's hard to learn how to listen when you've spent most of your life with your fingers shoved in your ears (la la la style).
7. Beautiful, glorious sunshine in which I can ride my road bike. In November!
8. Days spent lounging with a friend, talking about creativity and painting and all that good stuff...even if we never actually got the act of painting. The conversation is sometimes just as important.
9. My Job. I have one. It's real. I pays me consistent money and it allows me time to work on all those projects and things that have been building up. If standing from rooftops screaming about how wonderful it is to work at a place that actually utilizes my strengths wouldn't get me arrested or committed, I'd do it.
10. And finally-though not least importantly-the people in my life that I can call "Friend." The past year was quite a rollercoaster ride-lots of those buzz words like "growth" and "learning" came into play. I hope that this year I can begin to repay all the people who shared what they had with me.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
I should be sleeping...
but I'm posting instead! W00t. hehe. I start the new job tomorrow morning-I'm excited. I've already done all my little wacky things-like figure out what I'm wearing and set up the coffee pot so I just have to hit "go"...and now i"m sitting here staring at my blog.
Hm..
I did some meditation tonight-It's been one of my goals to get back into it-mainly because it does wonders while I'm in the waking world.
It's not just soothing and relaxing and all of that. It's baring and revealing and when I'm "on" I find that I can learn things about myself that I wasn't really aware of. It's sort of spooky sometimes.
I've been thinking a lot about the ideas and value structures I read about in Robert Pirsig's book. There's also a friend of mine who talks a lot about self betterment and the idea of personal growth. Some people either have it or they don't.
Which may sound a bit harsh, but really. I really believe that you're either in this life to make the most of it and learn how you can improve or you're not...and it's not always intentional. I don't think that many people really make the choice to stay in their one facet of life.
I think a lot of it has to do with a person's basic upbringing-what they were exposed to when they were little. And, it whether or not they were encouraged to be curious as a kid. This isn't always true-people in my family that I know had perfectly good opportunities to explore and be creative and learn new things and they adamantly refused and continue to refuse not to take them.
You compare that to some of the people in the world who literally came from nothing but knew that there had to be something else out there and it makes me a little bit angry. There's something to be said for shaping your situations into something that can help you grow.
I had a conversation with someone the other night...and it about made me crazy. This person tries so hard to argue with me for studying about the things that I"m interested in, or pursuing the random stuff that I do. They live their life based in paranoia about what might happen or what could happen or what they think is bound to happen instead of actually going through and finding out what the reality is.
More specifically-because of their own fear of the unknown (which is a lot in their world) anything and everything I suggest absolutely just has to be wrong or bad or misguided.
The book Lila talks about this. People who suffer from a non dynamic, low Quality life fight like hell against those people who are aiming for Dynamic Quality. Robert Pirsig explains all of this in pretty good detail and he has a lot of points but the things that stick out to me are that the life we live and the environment that we live in is fluid. It's always changing. This sounds like a pretty obvious statement but when you really think about it, it's pretty mind blowing. The idea that because everything is always in motion, and assuming as he does that, that motion is trying to move towards a higher state of Quality or Value, gives a whole new perspective to some things.
Your day to day life becomes about the fluidity of the moment and the idea of progressing towards something. Instead of moving away from the past, which people always tend to glorify, you are moving towards the future. Instead of moving away from what you used to believe or feel or know and suffering a loss for it, you are moving towards a new understanding of things, a new value structure, etc.
The idea, of course, is that in moving forward you really are moving towards something that has a higher level of Quality or Value (you'll have to either read the book, google it or wait for me to try and explain it all later if you're curious what he means by this) and not the other way around but one of the main tenets of the book that I got is that forward motion is positive motion. It's when you begin to stagnate or regress that you start having problems.
One of the major flaws that I find in the book is that he makes some pretty grandiose blanket statements, but that's also one of the "charms" I guess. There are a lot of things that I don't really agree with or, more specifically, that have changed a lot since the book was written but overall it's a great book to start generating ideas.
All of this was sort of vaguely floating around in the void while I was trying to meditate. Tonight was not one of the more stellar moments-I feel like a car that has been sitting in the driveway too long. It'll start but you have to really convince it.
My mind was all over the place for one thing (sort of like this post) and I kept having to bring it back to just breathing to get back in the moment. And sometimes, that was a struggle. I sort of had to laugh at myself at one point. I was supposed to be counting my breaths and before I realized it I had forgotten where I was at and was thinking about the fact that I need to change my air filter and how much it's going to stink because it's raining and cold out right now and tomorrow isn't promising to be much better.
'cause that's related to meditation. Ahem.
Anyway-I'm not trying to say that I've got some lofty, super clever goals and methods and that I'm working my way towards self betterment. I'm don't-I feel like I"m making a decent effort but I have eons and eons of work ahead of me before I really have any right to start telling other people what they should or should not be doing.
I just don't always know how to handle it when someone is so aggressively 'Anti Learning'- about different things or places or trying random stuff that has no real relevance to the greater schemes in life but that are fun or novel or whatever.
I dunno-I should probably be more concerned with getting some actual sleep tonight. I'm going to have to get up early for once tomorrow and, well, sleep is sort of helpful for that. :D
Lots of random stuff on my mind.
Hm..
I did some meditation tonight-It's been one of my goals to get back into it-mainly because it does wonders while I'm in the waking world.
It's not just soothing and relaxing and all of that. It's baring and revealing and when I'm "on" I find that I can learn things about myself that I wasn't really aware of. It's sort of spooky sometimes.
I've been thinking a lot about the ideas and value structures I read about in Robert Pirsig's book. There's also a friend of mine who talks a lot about self betterment and the idea of personal growth. Some people either have it or they don't.
Which may sound a bit harsh, but really. I really believe that you're either in this life to make the most of it and learn how you can improve or you're not...and it's not always intentional. I don't think that many people really make the choice to stay in their one facet of life.
I think a lot of it has to do with a person's basic upbringing-what they were exposed to when they were little. And, it whether or not they were encouraged to be curious as a kid. This isn't always true-people in my family that I know had perfectly good opportunities to explore and be creative and learn new things and they adamantly refused and continue to refuse not to take them.
You compare that to some of the people in the world who literally came from nothing but knew that there had to be something else out there and it makes me a little bit angry. There's something to be said for shaping your situations into something that can help you grow.
I had a conversation with someone the other night...and it about made me crazy. This person tries so hard to argue with me for studying about the things that I"m interested in, or pursuing the random stuff that I do. They live their life based in paranoia about what might happen or what could happen or what they think is bound to happen instead of actually going through and finding out what the reality is.
More specifically-because of their own fear of the unknown (which is a lot in their world) anything and everything I suggest absolutely just has to be wrong or bad or misguided.
The book Lila talks about this. People who suffer from a non dynamic, low Quality life fight like hell against those people who are aiming for Dynamic Quality. Robert Pirsig explains all of this in pretty good detail and he has a lot of points but the things that stick out to me are that the life we live and the environment that we live in is fluid. It's always changing. This sounds like a pretty obvious statement but when you really think about it, it's pretty mind blowing. The idea that because everything is always in motion, and assuming as he does that, that motion is trying to move towards a higher state of Quality or Value, gives a whole new perspective to some things.
Your day to day life becomes about the fluidity of the moment and the idea of progressing towards something. Instead of moving away from the past, which people always tend to glorify, you are moving towards the future. Instead of moving away from what you used to believe or feel or know and suffering a loss for it, you are moving towards a new understanding of things, a new value structure, etc.
The idea, of course, is that in moving forward you really are moving towards something that has a higher level of Quality or Value (you'll have to either read the book, google it or wait for me to try and explain it all later if you're curious what he means by this) and not the other way around but one of the main tenets of the book that I got is that forward motion is positive motion. It's when you begin to stagnate or regress that you start having problems.
One of the major flaws that I find in the book is that he makes some pretty grandiose blanket statements, but that's also one of the "charms" I guess. There are a lot of things that I don't really agree with or, more specifically, that have changed a lot since the book was written but overall it's a great book to start generating ideas.
All of this was sort of vaguely floating around in the void while I was trying to meditate. Tonight was not one of the more stellar moments-I feel like a car that has been sitting in the driveway too long. It'll start but you have to really convince it.
My mind was all over the place for one thing (sort of like this post) and I kept having to bring it back to just breathing to get back in the moment. And sometimes, that was a struggle. I sort of had to laugh at myself at one point. I was supposed to be counting my breaths and before I realized it I had forgotten where I was at and was thinking about the fact that I need to change my air filter and how much it's going to stink because it's raining and cold out right now and tomorrow isn't promising to be much better.
'cause that's related to meditation. Ahem.
Anyway-I'm not trying to say that I've got some lofty, super clever goals and methods and that I'm working my way towards self betterment. I'm don't-I feel like I"m making a decent effort but I have eons and eons of work ahead of me before I really have any right to start telling other people what they should or should not be doing.
I just don't always know how to handle it when someone is so aggressively 'Anti Learning'- about different things or places or trying random stuff that has no real relevance to the greater schemes in life but that are fun or novel or whatever.
I dunno-I should probably be more concerned with getting some actual sleep tonight. I'm going to have to get up early for once tomorrow and, well, sleep is sort of helpful for that. :D
Lots of random stuff on my mind.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Lots of good things
The weather has been beautiful, I've finished a few really great books (I think some of which I alluded to in a previous post but which I fully intend to write more about later) and, almost trumping all of that, I got a job. Like, a real job that pays money and has benefits and all those good things.
I'm sort of excited. I think it's going to be a really good fit.
And, on the art scene, things have been going well too! It's the really fun, twisty turn down part of the roller coaster ride I think hehe. Good times. I got to get back into the swing of First Fridays on October 2nd for a friend's show (his site is here) and I practically sold out of jewelry stuff. I had to keep arranging the table to make it look like I still had inventory. It was mainly necklaces that were selling. People were all about it for some reason. Exciting. (c:
I also talked to the gallery owners and there's a potential I could have my own real show in their space in the future. Which would be great because really, I am overdue for a real gallery space I think. Personally speaking and all. I might be biased.
I've also decided that I need to devote some more time to writing. I've fallen out of the habit of writing much of anything so I sat down the other night and went back to talk to some of my characters. Happily enough, the fact that it's been rolling around in my subconscious since I started it means that the doors had not been sealed shut with super glue so I think there's a good chance for some development.
I had a few stunning realizations too-one, there was a huge logic flaw that i need to figure out before I can really progress the story. I started asking myself questions about my "bad guys" (thank you Tim) and I realized that there's this whole chunk of information that I've just sort of been glossing over that is extremely relevant. It may not make it into the actual story but I need to know how it happened so I can move forward.
And-I realized that I had completely neglected one of my main, integral characters...she's not exactly the protagonist but we need to care about her and i couldn't even tell you what she looked like two days ago. Sort of astonishing if you think about it really. My story has a big cast, which is a challenge and sort of interesting at the same time, and could be dangerous territory and I guess she got lost. Which is bad. The others I have all this great information for, and she always got swept under the rug I guess...whoops.
Finally, I think the biggest realization I had is that a lot of the stuff I wasn't writing or haven't been writing is the stuff that my character is supposed to be working through and dealing with-which are very important to me and I hadn't reached the point where I could actually write about them yet because I didn't understand them. I've since had some time to think some of these things through and process them and I guess I feel more prepared now to try and associate them with a character and her perspective.
Writing is one of those things where because your life is part of the material you pull from, if you're not comfortable with certain emotions or subjects, I feel like you can't always accurately write characters that are comfortable with those emotions or subjects. Not that you have to have lived every experience of your characters life-they are characters, not carbon copies of you, but I think for some of the bigger emotions, it's hard to write an interesting perspective if you've never had any experience or spent much time thinking about or working through your own perspectives first....
hopefully that makes sense cause I think I just confused myself. (c:
On a random note-people are so interesting. There is a well dressed business guy who is working on some paper or another...and he brought a sack lunch with him. We're in a coffee shop....but he brought his lunch. It's sort of funny. The owners here are really cool and I've done things like that before too but it's funny watching him unwrap his sandwich and eat his chips that obviously were not purchased here...oh wait...he's ordering something....cherry pie! (c: Ok, so at least he's being a patron now instead of just sort of enjoying the music and the view for free hehe.
People are strange. But I guess if they're cool with it-why not be economical. And they do have good pie. Mmmm....pie.
Alrighty-I've got to step away from the internet and go do a few things that I've been neglecting because of everything else.
Oh yeah, and I"m almost finished with my transcription training! I passed the mid-term exam for it with a pretty good score and I'm working my way through the last seven lessons. w00t!
I'm sort of excited. I think it's going to be a really good fit.
And, on the art scene, things have been going well too! It's the really fun, twisty turn down part of the roller coaster ride I think hehe. Good times. I got to get back into the swing of First Fridays on October 2nd for a friend's show (his site is here) and I practically sold out of jewelry stuff. I had to keep arranging the table to make it look like I still had inventory. It was mainly necklaces that were selling. People were all about it for some reason. Exciting. (c:
I also talked to the gallery owners and there's a potential I could have my own real show in their space in the future. Which would be great because really, I am overdue for a real gallery space I think. Personally speaking and all. I might be biased.
I've also decided that I need to devote some more time to writing. I've fallen out of the habit of writing much of anything so I sat down the other night and went back to talk to some of my characters. Happily enough, the fact that it's been rolling around in my subconscious since I started it means that the doors had not been sealed shut with super glue so I think there's a good chance for some development.
I had a few stunning realizations too-one, there was a huge logic flaw that i need to figure out before I can really progress the story. I started asking myself questions about my "bad guys" (thank you Tim) and I realized that there's this whole chunk of information that I've just sort of been glossing over that is extremely relevant. It may not make it into the actual story but I need to know how it happened so I can move forward.
And-I realized that I had completely neglected one of my main, integral characters...she's not exactly the protagonist but we need to care about her and i couldn't even tell you what she looked like two days ago. Sort of astonishing if you think about it really. My story has a big cast, which is a challenge and sort of interesting at the same time, and could be dangerous territory and I guess she got lost. Which is bad. The others I have all this great information for, and she always got swept under the rug I guess...whoops.
Finally, I think the biggest realization I had is that a lot of the stuff I wasn't writing or haven't been writing is the stuff that my character is supposed to be working through and dealing with-which are very important to me and I hadn't reached the point where I could actually write about them yet because I didn't understand them. I've since had some time to think some of these things through and process them and I guess I feel more prepared now to try and associate them with a character and her perspective.
Writing is one of those things where because your life is part of the material you pull from, if you're not comfortable with certain emotions or subjects, I feel like you can't always accurately write characters that are comfortable with those emotions or subjects. Not that you have to have lived every experience of your characters life-they are characters, not carbon copies of you, but I think for some of the bigger emotions, it's hard to write an interesting perspective if you've never had any experience or spent much time thinking about or working through your own perspectives first....
hopefully that makes sense cause I think I just confused myself. (c:
On a random note-people are so interesting. There is a well dressed business guy who is working on some paper or another...and he brought a sack lunch with him. We're in a coffee shop....but he brought his lunch. It's sort of funny. The owners here are really cool and I've done things like that before too but it's funny watching him unwrap his sandwich and eat his chips that obviously were not purchased here...oh wait...he's ordering something....cherry pie! (c: Ok, so at least he's being a patron now instead of just sort of enjoying the music and the view for free hehe.
People are strange. But I guess if they're cool with it-why not be economical. And they do have good pie. Mmmm....pie.
Alrighty-I've got to step away from the internet and go do a few things that I've been neglecting because of everything else.
Oh yeah, and I"m almost finished with my transcription training! I passed the mid-term exam for it with a pretty good score and I'm working my way through the last seven lessons. w00t!
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