Sorry for the long hiatus. I've been..well...busy. (c:
The life of an artist is never dull I guess. I've had projects and things like my real job trying to drown me.
I should learn how to say no.
I have found time to read some outstanding books, though. That's a plus. I've been turned onto some Russian literature by a co-worker of mine and it's really fantastic. This particular co-worker is actually Russian so I've been able to go directly to a source and say "what is this referencing?" It's been great.
My first venture into this wide world of wonderful stories was called "The Master and Margarita." It's by Mikhail Bulgakov. Once I got into the flow of things and figured out who everyone was and what all their nicknames and professional names and surnames and the such were, I found the story to be really engaging. It's a politically charged near satire of 1930's Russia. Sort of. And a love story. And a commentary on what it means to be creative. And philosophical. And spiritual.
There are a handful of main characters, one of which is Satan. The Devil himself shows up in Moscow on a spring day and begins to wreak havoc in a very distracting and anti-theme of the times way. (What's not to love already?!?)
The tone is at times deadly serious but there is always a subtle undercurrent of irony. The book is divided into two sections: the first deals with one of the main characters (not Satan) named Ivan Ivanovich who is a writer. The second deals with Margarita-a woman who has fallen in love with a man who calls himself The Master. The Master was/is a writer and has written a book on Pontius Pilot. It causes him to fall out of favor with the government and gets him committed to an insane asylum. Meanwhile, Ivanovich's tale begins with him as he witnesses the death of his friend, Berlioz, (which was prophesied to happen by the Devil himself during a conversation in a park) and sort of goes off the deep end. Ivanovich ends up in the same looney bin as The Master. It's a beautiful commentary on what it means to be "insane" in a time when freedom was a dirty word. Mix all this in with the "real time" telling of the events surrounding Pontius Pilot(pitched at times as part of the manuscript The Master wrote and at times as current day events) and a prophet named Yeshua as well as a very intense demonic ball towards the end of the story and you have an experience that is unlike anything I've read all wrapped up with a cleverly designed cover.
Reading The Master and Margarita and then trying to explain it is a bit like trying to talk about a dream that you had three years ago but that you still have vivid recollections of...or like trying to explain what exactly it is you're seeing when you catch something out of the corner of your eye but isn't actually there when you turn around.
All of those things cause very real, emotional memories and the general sense of an "experience" but when you have to find words to give light and structure and concreteness to them, they begin to vaporize. I could give a very long and drawn out plot synopsis but it would ruin the story while simultaneously completely failing at conveying what the story is "about".
It's a book where what it's about is not just related to the story that is being told. It's about the experience of the book. It's about all the things that were going on historically when the book was written. It's about the fact that-to quote the book-"handwritten manuscripts don't burn"-which in an age of nothing but propaganda (both now and then) is such a beautiful thought that it could make me cry if I thought about it long enough. The character that says it in the book makes it all the more powerful of a statement.
My second venture into Russian literature is Boris Pasternak's "Dr. Zhivago". I tried to read this book once, when I was 14, and it went straight over my head. I'm thrilled to have the chance to settle into it this time though, now that I'm more prepared. Russian literature isn't something you just sort of accidentally read.
Here's a random tidbit. I got interested in The Master and Margarita through a play that was put on by the grad students at UMKC. My first experience with Dr. Zhivago was the movie with Omar Shariff (spelling?) and Julie Christie. I'm named after her character-I'm excited to see how the book tells their story versus what Hollywood did with it. I can already tell that things are going to be very different.
The demanding people mentioned in this post's title are managing to pull me away from all this great reading (which hasn't just included Russian lit but also some really great, fun, entirely indulgent fantasy novels I've been reading) and it's beginning to grate.
I get that as someone who is trying to make an established name for themselves and their work that you have to take on projects to gain experience. My beef comes in when people pitch a project to you, drag their feet for 5 months (5!!!), and then suddenly crack down with demands of an expected due date. Oh, and did I mention they have started telling everyone but you, their designer, that they have all sorts of functionality expectations? The poor messenger that's been working with me directly on the project is not really to blame for any of this poor planning...but it's still just a crock.
The thing that really kills me is how little compensation is involved. If they were paying me like a standard client would pay me, I could see them getting a little demanding. But they aren't. They aren't even close. I was fine with this until now. Augh. Pft.
To end on a less gripe-y note: I am the Visual Arts Director for the KC Fringe Festival this year. I'm excited about all the potential and new endeavors! I've got a long "To Do" list for it but I think I can knock a good portion of the really important stuff out in a few concerted hours of work.
Well-it's late. As always. And the weather has been beautiful and I got new road bike cleats and shoes today and I intend to go a-riding. Clear out some of the stress and insanity that keeps trying to accrue like debt and plaque in my brain.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Friday, November 27, 2009
...Post Thanksgiving
It's true that all good things must come to an end. Luckily, so does bad sex.
Just one of those little things in life to be thankful for.
Truly though, it sort of makes you wonder how some people in the world manage to have any fun at all.
Anyway-as we all finish wiping the last of the turkey grease from our fingers, and make yet another turkey-cranberry-stuffing sandwich, I want to know, what things are you thankful for this year? It can be anything. Serious or not. But I'm curious-the goal being to try and avoid too many Hallmark Card slogans or catch phrases.
Some of the things that I've been reflecting on lately:
1. See above.
2. The random people in life who make me laugh and smile-like this kid dressed up in blue jeans, a random Christmas T-Shirt, Santa hat and furry hood thing...sucking on a sucker, holding an empty plastic cup waiting for her dad....and it's 60 degrees outside! (c: I love it. Makes me smile.
3. Dancing to some reggae music that I never would have discovered on my own with a friend last night after some very wonderful conversation. What better way to spend Thanksgiving Night than grooving to some great music in a random little dive bar with a friend? Awesome.
4. Ridiculous blogs that are all about weird, quirky, material that if it weren't for the internet would never see the light of day.
5. My family (cue the Hallmark Home Classic muzak..) but getting to spend time with my dad, without having to invite myself over for Thanksgiving, was really nice. We ate, we talked, I played with the kids (though according to them they were totally ignored) and watched the Cowboys stomp the Raiders. Which doesn't give me too much joy because I hate the Cowboys almost as much as I hate the Raiders but whatever. Someone had to win. The Bronco's did win however, which makes me very happy!
6. The unexpected text message that comes through at the moment when you really, really need reminding who matters in your life and who doesn't. I'm learning on recognizing when The Great Ether is trying to tell me something...at least that's the goal...it's hard to learn how to listen when you've spent most of your life with your fingers shoved in your ears (la la la style).
7. Beautiful, glorious sunshine in which I can ride my road bike. In November!
8. Days spent lounging with a friend, talking about creativity and painting and all that good stuff...even if we never actually got the act of painting. The conversation is sometimes just as important.
9. My Job. I have one. It's real. I pays me consistent money and it allows me time to work on all those projects and things that have been building up. If standing from rooftops screaming about how wonderful it is to work at a place that actually utilizes my strengths wouldn't get me arrested or committed, I'd do it.
10. And finally-though not least importantly-the people in my life that I can call "Friend." The past year was quite a rollercoaster ride-lots of those buzz words like "growth" and "learning" came into play. I hope that this year I can begin to repay all the people who shared what they had with me.
Just one of those little things in life to be thankful for.
Truly though, it sort of makes you wonder how some people in the world manage to have any fun at all.
Anyway-as we all finish wiping the last of the turkey grease from our fingers, and make yet another turkey-cranberry-stuffing sandwich, I want to know, what things are you thankful for this year? It can be anything. Serious or not. But I'm curious-the goal being to try and avoid too many Hallmark Card slogans or catch phrases.
Some of the things that I've been reflecting on lately:
1. See above.
2. The random people in life who make me laugh and smile-like this kid dressed up in blue jeans, a random Christmas T-Shirt, Santa hat and furry hood thing...sucking on a sucker, holding an empty plastic cup waiting for her dad....and it's 60 degrees outside! (c: I love it. Makes me smile.
3. Dancing to some reggae music that I never would have discovered on my own with a friend last night after some very wonderful conversation. What better way to spend Thanksgiving Night than grooving to some great music in a random little dive bar with a friend? Awesome.
4. Ridiculous blogs that are all about weird, quirky, material that if it weren't for the internet would never see the light of day.
5. My family (cue the Hallmark Home Classic muzak..) but getting to spend time with my dad, without having to invite myself over for Thanksgiving, was really nice. We ate, we talked, I played with the kids (though according to them they were totally ignored) and watched the Cowboys stomp the Raiders. Which doesn't give me too much joy because I hate the Cowboys almost as much as I hate the Raiders but whatever. Someone had to win. The Bronco's did win however, which makes me very happy!
6. The unexpected text message that comes through at the moment when you really, really need reminding who matters in your life and who doesn't. I'm learning on recognizing when The Great Ether is trying to tell me something...at least that's the goal...it's hard to learn how to listen when you've spent most of your life with your fingers shoved in your ears (la la la style).
7. Beautiful, glorious sunshine in which I can ride my road bike. In November!
8. Days spent lounging with a friend, talking about creativity and painting and all that good stuff...even if we never actually got the act of painting. The conversation is sometimes just as important.
9. My Job. I have one. It's real. I pays me consistent money and it allows me time to work on all those projects and things that have been building up. If standing from rooftops screaming about how wonderful it is to work at a place that actually utilizes my strengths wouldn't get me arrested or committed, I'd do it.
10. And finally-though not least importantly-the people in my life that I can call "Friend." The past year was quite a rollercoaster ride-lots of those buzz words like "growth" and "learning" came into play. I hope that this year I can begin to repay all the people who shared what they had with me.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
I should be sleeping...
but I'm posting instead! W00t. hehe. I start the new job tomorrow morning-I'm excited. I've already done all my little wacky things-like figure out what I'm wearing and set up the coffee pot so I just have to hit "go"...and now i"m sitting here staring at my blog.
Hm..
I did some meditation tonight-It's been one of my goals to get back into it-mainly because it does wonders while I'm in the waking world.
It's not just soothing and relaxing and all of that. It's baring and revealing and when I'm "on" I find that I can learn things about myself that I wasn't really aware of. It's sort of spooky sometimes.
I've been thinking a lot about the ideas and value structures I read about in Robert Pirsig's book. There's also a friend of mine who talks a lot about self betterment and the idea of personal growth. Some people either have it or they don't.
Which may sound a bit harsh, but really. I really believe that you're either in this life to make the most of it and learn how you can improve or you're not...and it's not always intentional. I don't think that many people really make the choice to stay in their one facet of life.
I think a lot of it has to do with a person's basic upbringing-what they were exposed to when they were little. And, it whether or not they were encouraged to be curious as a kid. This isn't always true-people in my family that I know had perfectly good opportunities to explore and be creative and learn new things and they adamantly refused and continue to refuse not to take them.
You compare that to some of the people in the world who literally came from nothing but knew that there had to be something else out there and it makes me a little bit angry. There's something to be said for shaping your situations into something that can help you grow.
I had a conversation with someone the other night...and it about made me crazy. This person tries so hard to argue with me for studying about the things that I"m interested in, or pursuing the random stuff that I do. They live their life based in paranoia about what might happen or what could happen or what they think is bound to happen instead of actually going through and finding out what the reality is.
More specifically-because of their own fear of the unknown (which is a lot in their world) anything and everything I suggest absolutely just has to be wrong or bad or misguided.
The book Lila talks about this. People who suffer from a non dynamic, low Quality life fight like hell against those people who are aiming for Dynamic Quality. Robert Pirsig explains all of this in pretty good detail and he has a lot of points but the things that stick out to me are that the life we live and the environment that we live in is fluid. It's always changing. This sounds like a pretty obvious statement but when you really think about it, it's pretty mind blowing. The idea that because everything is always in motion, and assuming as he does that, that motion is trying to move towards a higher state of Quality or Value, gives a whole new perspective to some things.
Your day to day life becomes about the fluidity of the moment and the idea of progressing towards something. Instead of moving away from the past, which people always tend to glorify, you are moving towards the future. Instead of moving away from what you used to believe or feel or know and suffering a loss for it, you are moving towards a new understanding of things, a new value structure, etc.
The idea, of course, is that in moving forward you really are moving towards something that has a higher level of Quality or Value (you'll have to either read the book, google it or wait for me to try and explain it all later if you're curious what he means by this) and not the other way around but one of the main tenets of the book that I got is that forward motion is positive motion. It's when you begin to stagnate or regress that you start having problems.
One of the major flaws that I find in the book is that he makes some pretty grandiose blanket statements, but that's also one of the "charms" I guess. There are a lot of things that I don't really agree with or, more specifically, that have changed a lot since the book was written but overall it's a great book to start generating ideas.
All of this was sort of vaguely floating around in the void while I was trying to meditate. Tonight was not one of the more stellar moments-I feel like a car that has been sitting in the driveway too long. It'll start but you have to really convince it.
My mind was all over the place for one thing (sort of like this post) and I kept having to bring it back to just breathing to get back in the moment. And sometimes, that was a struggle. I sort of had to laugh at myself at one point. I was supposed to be counting my breaths and before I realized it I had forgotten where I was at and was thinking about the fact that I need to change my air filter and how much it's going to stink because it's raining and cold out right now and tomorrow isn't promising to be much better.
'cause that's related to meditation. Ahem.
Anyway-I'm not trying to say that I've got some lofty, super clever goals and methods and that I'm working my way towards self betterment. I'm don't-I feel like I"m making a decent effort but I have eons and eons of work ahead of me before I really have any right to start telling other people what they should or should not be doing.
I just don't always know how to handle it when someone is so aggressively 'Anti Learning'- about different things or places or trying random stuff that has no real relevance to the greater schemes in life but that are fun or novel or whatever.
I dunno-I should probably be more concerned with getting some actual sleep tonight. I'm going to have to get up early for once tomorrow and, well, sleep is sort of helpful for that. :D
Lots of random stuff on my mind.
Hm..
I did some meditation tonight-It's been one of my goals to get back into it-mainly because it does wonders while I'm in the waking world.
It's not just soothing and relaxing and all of that. It's baring and revealing and when I'm "on" I find that I can learn things about myself that I wasn't really aware of. It's sort of spooky sometimes.
I've been thinking a lot about the ideas and value structures I read about in Robert Pirsig's book. There's also a friend of mine who talks a lot about self betterment and the idea of personal growth. Some people either have it or they don't.
Which may sound a bit harsh, but really. I really believe that you're either in this life to make the most of it and learn how you can improve or you're not...and it's not always intentional. I don't think that many people really make the choice to stay in their one facet of life.
I think a lot of it has to do with a person's basic upbringing-what they were exposed to when they were little. And, it whether or not they were encouraged to be curious as a kid. This isn't always true-people in my family that I know had perfectly good opportunities to explore and be creative and learn new things and they adamantly refused and continue to refuse not to take them.
You compare that to some of the people in the world who literally came from nothing but knew that there had to be something else out there and it makes me a little bit angry. There's something to be said for shaping your situations into something that can help you grow.
I had a conversation with someone the other night...and it about made me crazy. This person tries so hard to argue with me for studying about the things that I"m interested in, or pursuing the random stuff that I do. They live their life based in paranoia about what might happen or what could happen or what they think is bound to happen instead of actually going through and finding out what the reality is.
More specifically-because of their own fear of the unknown (which is a lot in their world) anything and everything I suggest absolutely just has to be wrong or bad or misguided.
The book Lila talks about this. People who suffer from a non dynamic, low Quality life fight like hell against those people who are aiming for Dynamic Quality. Robert Pirsig explains all of this in pretty good detail and he has a lot of points but the things that stick out to me are that the life we live and the environment that we live in is fluid. It's always changing. This sounds like a pretty obvious statement but when you really think about it, it's pretty mind blowing. The idea that because everything is always in motion, and assuming as he does that, that motion is trying to move towards a higher state of Quality or Value, gives a whole new perspective to some things.
Your day to day life becomes about the fluidity of the moment and the idea of progressing towards something. Instead of moving away from the past, which people always tend to glorify, you are moving towards the future. Instead of moving away from what you used to believe or feel or know and suffering a loss for it, you are moving towards a new understanding of things, a new value structure, etc.
The idea, of course, is that in moving forward you really are moving towards something that has a higher level of Quality or Value (you'll have to either read the book, google it or wait for me to try and explain it all later if you're curious what he means by this) and not the other way around but one of the main tenets of the book that I got is that forward motion is positive motion. It's when you begin to stagnate or regress that you start having problems.
One of the major flaws that I find in the book is that he makes some pretty grandiose blanket statements, but that's also one of the "charms" I guess. There are a lot of things that I don't really agree with or, more specifically, that have changed a lot since the book was written but overall it's a great book to start generating ideas.
All of this was sort of vaguely floating around in the void while I was trying to meditate. Tonight was not one of the more stellar moments-I feel like a car that has been sitting in the driveway too long. It'll start but you have to really convince it.
My mind was all over the place for one thing (sort of like this post) and I kept having to bring it back to just breathing to get back in the moment. And sometimes, that was a struggle. I sort of had to laugh at myself at one point. I was supposed to be counting my breaths and before I realized it I had forgotten where I was at and was thinking about the fact that I need to change my air filter and how much it's going to stink because it's raining and cold out right now and tomorrow isn't promising to be much better.
'cause that's related to meditation. Ahem.
Anyway-I'm not trying to say that I've got some lofty, super clever goals and methods and that I'm working my way towards self betterment. I'm don't-I feel like I"m making a decent effort but I have eons and eons of work ahead of me before I really have any right to start telling other people what they should or should not be doing.
I just don't always know how to handle it when someone is so aggressively 'Anti Learning'- about different things or places or trying random stuff that has no real relevance to the greater schemes in life but that are fun or novel or whatever.
I dunno-I should probably be more concerned with getting some actual sleep tonight. I'm going to have to get up early for once tomorrow and, well, sleep is sort of helpful for that. :D
Lots of random stuff on my mind.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Lots of good things
The weather has been beautiful, I've finished a few really great books (I think some of which I alluded to in a previous post but which I fully intend to write more about later) and, almost trumping all of that, I got a job. Like, a real job that pays money and has benefits and all those good things.
I'm sort of excited. I think it's going to be a really good fit.
And, on the art scene, things have been going well too! It's the really fun, twisty turn down part of the roller coaster ride I think hehe. Good times. I got to get back into the swing of First Fridays on October 2nd for a friend's show (his site is here) and I practically sold out of jewelry stuff. I had to keep arranging the table to make it look like I still had inventory. It was mainly necklaces that were selling. People were all about it for some reason. Exciting. (c:
I also talked to the gallery owners and there's a potential I could have my own real show in their space in the future. Which would be great because really, I am overdue for a real gallery space I think. Personally speaking and all. I might be biased.
I've also decided that I need to devote some more time to writing. I've fallen out of the habit of writing much of anything so I sat down the other night and went back to talk to some of my characters. Happily enough, the fact that it's been rolling around in my subconscious since I started it means that the doors had not been sealed shut with super glue so I think there's a good chance for some development.
I had a few stunning realizations too-one, there was a huge logic flaw that i need to figure out before I can really progress the story. I started asking myself questions about my "bad guys" (thank you Tim) and I realized that there's this whole chunk of information that I've just sort of been glossing over that is extremely relevant. It may not make it into the actual story but I need to know how it happened so I can move forward.
And-I realized that I had completely neglected one of my main, integral characters...she's not exactly the protagonist but we need to care about her and i couldn't even tell you what she looked like two days ago. Sort of astonishing if you think about it really. My story has a big cast, which is a challenge and sort of interesting at the same time, and could be dangerous territory and I guess she got lost. Which is bad. The others I have all this great information for, and she always got swept under the rug I guess...whoops.
Finally, I think the biggest realization I had is that a lot of the stuff I wasn't writing or haven't been writing is the stuff that my character is supposed to be working through and dealing with-which are very important to me and I hadn't reached the point where I could actually write about them yet because I didn't understand them. I've since had some time to think some of these things through and process them and I guess I feel more prepared now to try and associate them with a character and her perspective.
Writing is one of those things where because your life is part of the material you pull from, if you're not comfortable with certain emotions or subjects, I feel like you can't always accurately write characters that are comfortable with those emotions or subjects. Not that you have to have lived every experience of your characters life-they are characters, not carbon copies of you, but I think for some of the bigger emotions, it's hard to write an interesting perspective if you've never had any experience or spent much time thinking about or working through your own perspectives first....
hopefully that makes sense cause I think I just confused myself. (c:
On a random note-people are so interesting. There is a well dressed business guy who is working on some paper or another...and he brought a sack lunch with him. We're in a coffee shop....but he brought his lunch. It's sort of funny. The owners here are really cool and I've done things like that before too but it's funny watching him unwrap his sandwich and eat his chips that obviously were not purchased here...oh wait...he's ordering something....cherry pie! (c: Ok, so at least he's being a patron now instead of just sort of enjoying the music and the view for free hehe.
People are strange. But I guess if they're cool with it-why not be economical. And they do have good pie. Mmmm....pie.
Alrighty-I've got to step away from the internet and go do a few things that I've been neglecting because of everything else.
Oh yeah, and I"m almost finished with my transcription training! I passed the mid-term exam for it with a pretty good score and I'm working my way through the last seven lessons. w00t!
I'm sort of excited. I think it's going to be a really good fit.
And, on the art scene, things have been going well too! It's the really fun, twisty turn down part of the roller coaster ride I think hehe. Good times. I got to get back into the swing of First Fridays on October 2nd for a friend's show (his site is here) and I practically sold out of jewelry stuff. I had to keep arranging the table to make it look like I still had inventory. It was mainly necklaces that were selling. People were all about it for some reason. Exciting. (c:
I also talked to the gallery owners and there's a potential I could have my own real show in their space in the future. Which would be great because really, I am overdue for a real gallery space I think. Personally speaking and all. I might be biased.
I've also decided that I need to devote some more time to writing. I've fallen out of the habit of writing much of anything so I sat down the other night and went back to talk to some of my characters. Happily enough, the fact that it's been rolling around in my subconscious since I started it means that the doors had not been sealed shut with super glue so I think there's a good chance for some development.
I had a few stunning realizations too-one, there was a huge logic flaw that i need to figure out before I can really progress the story. I started asking myself questions about my "bad guys" (thank you Tim) and I realized that there's this whole chunk of information that I've just sort of been glossing over that is extremely relevant. It may not make it into the actual story but I need to know how it happened so I can move forward.
And-I realized that I had completely neglected one of my main, integral characters...she's not exactly the protagonist but we need to care about her and i couldn't even tell you what she looked like two days ago. Sort of astonishing if you think about it really. My story has a big cast, which is a challenge and sort of interesting at the same time, and could be dangerous territory and I guess she got lost. Which is bad. The others I have all this great information for, and she always got swept under the rug I guess...whoops.
Finally, I think the biggest realization I had is that a lot of the stuff I wasn't writing or haven't been writing is the stuff that my character is supposed to be working through and dealing with-which are very important to me and I hadn't reached the point where I could actually write about them yet because I didn't understand them. I've since had some time to think some of these things through and process them and I guess I feel more prepared now to try and associate them with a character and her perspective.
Writing is one of those things where because your life is part of the material you pull from, if you're not comfortable with certain emotions or subjects, I feel like you can't always accurately write characters that are comfortable with those emotions or subjects. Not that you have to have lived every experience of your characters life-they are characters, not carbon copies of you, but I think for some of the bigger emotions, it's hard to write an interesting perspective if you've never had any experience or spent much time thinking about or working through your own perspectives first....
hopefully that makes sense cause I think I just confused myself. (c:
On a random note-people are so interesting. There is a well dressed business guy who is working on some paper or another...and he brought a sack lunch with him. We're in a coffee shop....but he brought his lunch. It's sort of funny. The owners here are really cool and I've done things like that before too but it's funny watching him unwrap his sandwich and eat his chips that obviously were not purchased here...oh wait...he's ordering something....cherry pie! (c: Ok, so at least he's being a patron now instead of just sort of enjoying the music and the view for free hehe.
People are strange. But I guess if they're cool with it-why not be economical. And they do have good pie. Mmmm....pie.
Alrighty-I've got to step away from the internet and go do a few things that I've been neglecting because of everything else.
Oh yeah, and I"m almost finished with my transcription training! I passed the mid-term exam for it with a pretty good score and I'm working my way through the last seven lessons. w00t!
Saturday, September 12, 2009
For those who think I talk too much...
go look at new stuff on my website! (c:
www.unravelledonline.com
the arrows actually point to something new and interesting now! Happy clicking...(go peek in Painting (at the end of the second section) and Jewelry for most of the new stuff...)
www.unravelledonline.com
the arrows actually point to something new and interesting now! Happy clicking...(go peek in Painting (at the end of the second section) and Jewelry for most of the new stuff...)
Just passing through....
So I went back to the source to see what sparked the response I found on Full Throttle and F**k It: Losing It
It got me thinking, which is always a good thing and I think I have to post. For those of you who would rather just have me tell you what the original post was about, too bad! Go read those two really great blogs! I'll wait........
done yet?
Alrighty...
I think I have to beg to differ on some of this and I have to offer a "new" idea or two of my own.
Creative folks like to talk about "it"- the magic, the thing that keeps them going, their muses, etc. They (we?) talk about it like it's a tangible, concrete object that we've somehow inherited or found lying in the gutter. We look at it like it's a big secret that only a select few of us have managed to find...and then when they lose "it" they either hang up the brushes, or they put up the pens or walk away from their novel or whatever. Some of the more attention starved ones choose to openly mope about how they used to be this or that and some tend to go sit quietly in a corner and wait it out and some choose to kill themselves.
So this is where I start to get a little...argumentative.
I don't think that there is a magic inherent to artists-at least not in the sense that most people consider. I think it comes down to something more universal-perhaps passion, or perspective. I say passion because a person without at least a shred of passion could very easily fall into the same holding patterns as all these artists who chose to end their lives early. Any person, mind you, without at least some interest in what the next day holds, or what the next month holds or the next minute holds, can find themselves considering some pretty drastic measures, just to shake things up a bit. People express their passion or at least interest in life in lots of different ways, some creatively, some not. We're all familiar with this-you dress a certain way, you order a decadent dessert just for the fun of it, you go on vacation to a place you love or a place you've never been, etc. etc.
Some people choose to paint. Or write. Or draw. Or sing. Or write music. They choose to express their passion or interest or opinions in things/life in a more direct way. I argue that it's when they become jaded towards their life or their environment that they begin to think they've lost the ephemeral creative "it".
You see it all the time. Artists stop creating because they stop caring. It happens to people all the time, it's just more noticeable by the time you've gotten famous enough to see your name in print, in lights or on an award or two here and there. It's also different because when you break through the fourth wall the exists between those who are famous and those who are not, everyone has an opinion on what you're doing. So if you have a bad day or year or month and you put work out anyway and it doesn't jive with the perception of what your work should be, people start to accuse you of losing "it" when really, maybe you just didn't care about the flowers as much this year as you did last year for whatever reason.
So let's say an artist stops caring and therefore stops creating. They haven't lost the spark that makes them creative, or talented. They could still sit down and draw the pants off anyone that challenges them probably, or outsing the best contestant on American Idol (idle...) or whatever-but they don't. Because they're over it.
Sometimes this can feel like they've lost their spark when really they're just bored. Thinking of the magical, artistic "it" lets people off the hook-it makes it seem like they have some special vision that makes the world more interesting or more exciting to them-so much that they just have to sit down and paint a picture of it in an attempt to convey that magic. I think the reality is that staying engaged in life enough to where things really do seem that intriguing takes work. Lots of work.
It's the same problem most adults have I think-you look at kids and most things are new and exciting because well, they haven't lived long enough to figure out the tricks behind the magic-as adults we come to expect certain things-cause and effect. Beautiful sunsets, etc. If those things are going to remain surprising and engaging, we have to choose to treat them as though they are new and exciting and different. It takes a great deal of effort sometimes I think to remind ourselves to stay engaged. Whether that means that we're going to wake up every morning and just make an effort or whether that means we're going to wake up and sit down at our respective Muse Centrals and "do" something with what we see or feel, is entirely up to us.
The other thing that you need to consider is that people have different desires to do things. I'll use my friends as examples. I have friends who are artists and friends who are creative and friends who are practical and all these things....each one of them is plugged in and engaged in life-they just desire to express that connection differently than, say, me. So some of us choose to paint and play with silks because we get really excited about the colors of the sunset last week-some of them choose to sit down and code some really complex computer languages because they just care how things work. But we're all plugged in to life. If my computer coding friends woke up one morning and suddenly didn't give a damn, they wouldn't lament that they had lost their ability to create code. They wouldn't think of it as having lost their "it". They would probably either relax and wait until something new developed technologically that got them excited or they would go back and revisit some of their older stuff to see if they could make it better or whatever.
Two more points and then I'll move on I promise:
One of the points that Steve brought up (which you all know 'cause you read his post...ahem. (c: ), is that perhaps Hemingway should have waited it out, spent less time concerning himself with what was, etc. etc. I couldn't agree more, but I think it has to do with social context. At the time that Hemingway and Jack London and all them were having their breakdowns, it wasn't socially acceptable to talk about your feelings, really (maybe moreso with Jack London's time, but he was a notorious drunk who, I think, personally, just got lucky...and wasn't real stable to begin with..), and I don't think the same essential skills of socially taking a break, or working through a tough period, etc. etc. had been instilled.
I'm reading "Lila" right now by Robert Pirsig and he talks about how the rebels following the Victorian era who were against all the stuffy reason, logic, manners and pomp of the times were able to rebel against it without any negative impacts on the overall society because they had been raised with an inherent social structure. They had a certain level of moral quality (his words, not mine) instilled in them and therefore the overall societal structure didn't suffer because of their personal rebellion. So fast forward to today-we have all that inherent, societal "talk it out", "processing," "closure", "becoming more centered" , dialogue programmed into us, whether we want it or not really, and therefore are better equipped to just wait out the tough periods, or change our focus, etc...Picasso didn't have that luxury. And he was clinically insane, without the same level of coping or medical help available to those of us today, so societally I think the odds were against these guys being able to work through their ennui.
Or perhaps they really were just sparks of genius that have gone out of existance. I don't know.
In the case of Johnny Cash, I think he was fortunate enough to live through the time periods that dicatated that you made it big and then you faded away-and he was blessed with enough internal flexibility to recognize the opportunities he had when he had them. He went back to what he cared about-the guitar and the lyrics and the music and the act of doing what he did. It stopped becoming about what his previous songs had become and kept being about what he was probably chasing to begin with-the passion for playing the guitar.
I could be wrong-there is such a thing as doing things purely because you are an opportunist and you're blessed with the talent to pull some things off better than others and there ya go, paycheck at the end, a little bit of fame, some comback action and your equation for success is completed. But I prefer to think that some of the really ingenious, creative people out there, aren't quite that....corporate...in their creations.
So, to bring all this to an end-talent will carry you a long ways, so will love of fame and the desire to be the center of attention-but when it comes down to it, you have to care about what you're doing and that takes work. It's a lifestyle and not an "it" that is always out of reach or always threatening to dissappear. You either have the drive to keep caring or you don't.
It's the whole "the unexamined life is not worth living" thing-you have to care enough to peek under the rock and let that curiosity drive you to express what you see in whatever way comes naturally.
I'll put my soapbox away for now.
It got me thinking, which is always a good thing and I think I have to post. For those of you who would rather just have me tell you what the original post was about, too bad! Go read those two really great blogs! I'll wait........
done yet?
Alrighty...
I think I have to beg to differ on some of this and I have to offer a "new" idea or two of my own.
Creative folks like to talk about "it"- the magic, the thing that keeps them going, their muses, etc. They (we?) talk about it like it's a tangible, concrete object that we've somehow inherited or found lying in the gutter. We look at it like it's a big secret that only a select few of us have managed to find...and then when they lose "it" they either hang up the brushes, or they put up the pens or walk away from their novel or whatever. Some of the more attention starved ones choose to openly mope about how they used to be this or that and some tend to go sit quietly in a corner and wait it out and some choose to kill themselves.
So this is where I start to get a little...argumentative.
I don't think that there is a magic inherent to artists-at least not in the sense that most people consider. I think it comes down to something more universal-perhaps passion, or perspective. I say passion because a person without at least a shred of passion could very easily fall into the same holding patterns as all these artists who chose to end their lives early. Any person, mind you, without at least some interest in what the next day holds, or what the next month holds or the next minute holds, can find themselves considering some pretty drastic measures, just to shake things up a bit. People express their passion or at least interest in life in lots of different ways, some creatively, some not. We're all familiar with this-you dress a certain way, you order a decadent dessert just for the fun of it, you go on vacation to a place you love or a place you've never been, etc. etc.
Some people choose to paint. Or write. Or draw. Or sing. Or write music. They choose to express their passion or interest or opinions in things/life in a more direct way. I argue that it's when they become jaded towards their life or their environment that they begin to think they've lost the ephemeral creative "it".
You see it all the time. Artists stop creating because they stop caring. It happens to people all the time, it's just more noticeable by the time you've gotten famous enough to see your name in print, in lights or on an award or two here and there. It's also different because when you break through the fourth wall the exists between those who are famous and those who are not, everyone has an opinion on what you're doing. So if you have a bad day or year or month and you put work out anyway and it doesn't jive with the perception of what your work should be, people start to accuse you of losing "it" when really, maybe you just didn't care about the flowers as much this year as you did last year for whatever reason.
So let's say an artist stops caring and therefore stops creating. They haven't lost the spark that makes them creative, or talented. They could still sit down and draw the pants off anyone that challenges them probably, or outsing the best contestant on American Idol (idle...) or whatever-but they don't. Because they're over it.
Sometimes this can feel like they've lost their spark when really they're just bored. Thinking of the magical, artistic "it" lets people off the hook-it makes it seem like they have some special vision that makes the world more interesting or more exciting to them-so much that they just have to sit down and paint a picture of it in an attempt to convey that magic. I think the reality is that staying engaged in life enough to where things really do seem that intriguing takes work. Lots of work.
It's the same problem most adults have I think-you look at kids and most things are new and exciting because well, they haven't lived long enough to figure out the tricks behind the magic-as adults we come to expect certain things-cause and effect. Beautiful sunsets, etc. If those things are going to remain surprising and engaging, we have to choose to treat them as though they are new and exciting and different. It takes a great deal of effort sometimes I think to remind ourselves to stay engaged. Whether that means that we're going to wake up every morning and just make an effort or whether that means we're going to wake up and sit down at our respective Muse Centrals and "do" something with what we see or feel, is entirely up to us.
The other thing that you need to consider is that people have different desires to do things. I'll use my friends as examples. I have friends who are artists and friends who are creative and friends who are practical and all these things....each one of them is plugged in and engaged in life-they just desire to express that connection differently than, say, me. So some of us choose to paint and play with silks because we get really excited about the colors of the sunset last week-some of them choose to sit down and code some really complex computer languages because they just care how things work. But we're all plugged in to life. If my computer coding friends woke up one morning and suddenly didn't give a damn, they wouldn't lament that they had lost their ability to create code. They wouldn't think of it as having lost their "it". They would probably either relax and wait until something new developed technologically that got them excited or they would go back and revisit some of their older stuff to see if they could make it better or whatever.
Two more points and then I'll move on I promise:
One of the points that Steve brought up (which you all know 'cause you read his post...ahem. (c: ), is that perhaps Hemingway should have waited it out, spent less time concerning himself with what was, etc. etc. I couldn't agree more, but I think it has to do with social context. At the time that Hemingway and Jack London and all them were having their breakdowns, it wasn't socially acceptable to talk about your feelings, really (maybe moreso with Jack London's time, but he was a notorious drunk who, I think, personally, just got lucky...and wasn't real stable to begin with..), and I don't think the same essential skills of socially taking a break, or working through a tough period, etc. etc. had been instilled.
I'm reading "Lila" right now by Robert Pirsig and he talks about how the rebels following the Victorian era who were against all the stuffy reason, logic, manners and pomp of the times were able to rebel against it without any negative impacts on the overall society because they had been raised with an inherent social structure. They had a certain level of moral quality (his words, not mine) instilled in them and therefore the overall societal structure didn't suffer because of their personal rebellion. So fast forward to today-we have all that inherent, societal "talk it out", "processing," "closure", "becoming more centered" , dialogue programmed into us, whether we want it or not really, and therefore are better equipped to just wait out the tough periods, or change our focus, etc...Picasso didn't have that luxury. And he was clinically insane, without the same level of coping or medical help available to those of us today, so societally I think the odds were against these guys being able to work through their ennui.
Or perhaps they really were just sparks of genius that have gone out of existance. I don't know.
In the case of Johnny Cash, I think he was fortunate enough to live through the time periods that dicatated that you made it big and then you faded away-and he was blessed with enough internal flexibility to recognize the opportunities he had when he had them. He went back to what he cared about-the guitar and the lyrics and the music and the act of doing what he did. It stopped becoming about what his previous songs had become and kept being about what he was probably chasing to begin with-the passion for playing the guitar.
I could be wrong-there is such a thing as doing things purely because you are an opportunist and you're blessed with the talent to pull some things off better than others and there ya go, paycheck at the end, a little bit of fame, some comback action and your equation for success is completed. But I prefer to think that some of the really ingenious, creative people out there, aren't quite that....corporate...in their creations.
So, to bring all this to an end-talent will carry you a long ways, so will love of fame and the desire to be the center of attention-but when it comes down to it, you have to care about what you're doing and that takes work. It's a lifestyle and not an "it" that is always out of reach or always threatening to dissappear. You either have the drive to keep caring or you don't.
It's the whole "the unexamined life is not worth living" thing-you have to care enough to peek under the rock and let that curiosity drive you to express what you see in whatever way comes naturally.
I'll put my soapbox away for now.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Oh my
it's been a while hasn't it?
I don't have internet at my house so it makes posting into the wee hours a bit more difficult. Anyway-I'm sitting at the office right now working on some things for tomorrow morning and it occurred to me that while I'm here I could be posting. I'm printing and I've got everything queued up for the next round-just have to wait for technology to do its thang.
The Fringe Festival was a success I do believe-there was some confusion and a lot of improv and required flexibility but I sold lots of jewelry (almost 400 dollars!) and I got to show some new work and stuff like that...always a plus. I also had some jewelry on display for the fashion show this year which was pretty cool. I had a good time too-there were a lot of cool people and despite having to sell jewelry in the parking lot of the venue instead of inside where we all thought we were going to be set up...(as I said, mandatory flexibility) things went well. I had a fantastic designer next to me who not only let me borrow one of their lights so people could actually see what they were shopping for but let me run around in the most gorgeous little shrug I've ever seen for the whole night. Hehe. It was a good time. There was 3 dollar Boulevard beer which was awesome and overall, it worked out pretty well.
I may have found myself a position on the visual arts committee for next years Fringe too...oops. I talk a lot and I have lots of opinions which is not always a good thing I know, but whatever. It needed to work better and I think I could help with that. The kid they had doing it this year got bombarded with two different equally demanding jobs for the Festival and on top of all that, he was getting his ass chewed for not having any information to really give to the artists. So yeah, it needs to have a seperate person in charge. Visual artists-we can be hard to work with, ya know...(c:
I also managed to get the show up at Black Dog Coffee Shop set up. Phew. That was a crazy dash. Remind me to have "spare art" on hand so next time I can just hang stuff and not have to do everything from scratch. Oy.
In other news-been getting some good freelance projects here and there which is good. You can check out my latest creation at: www.maxfearingart.com It's a site I did for a friend of mine who is a local artist. We're trying to get him some web recognition. It's getting there-currently it's a work in progress still but it's on its way. I also did a little bit of work for another friend of mine that I work with....jewelry commissions have been coming in since the Fringe as well. Not enough to pay the bills or buy the totally adorable, must have building that I want in Parkville but ya know. I'll take what I can get. If anyone wins the Powerball and wants to buy me a storefront, you know where to find me. (c:
I'm heading out to Colorado in September to go mountain biking with my boyfriend. It should be a lot of fun. There's a beer fest going on in downtown Denver too that we're going to hit up. That'll be a nice cap to our week out in the mountains camping and biking. Hopefully I don't actually kill myself hehe. We've been going out to a place called Landahl Park in Blue Springs, MO lately that has some really good mountain bike type trails. I know, I live in Kansas, there are no mountains, but this place does a really good job. All naturally cut trails that have lots of technical sections and lots of cool stuff to ride. I dig it a lot. I got a little banged up this weekend but no real battle scars. I was sort of disappointed. (c:
The weather has been crazy hot. I swear God was trying to come through my window last night....it was actually some severe lightening. I really did think that the generator outside my window had been struck....scared me half to death. Today was beautiful-I guess it got all of it out of its system.
Alrighty. Not much else at the moment to really report per se. Just trying to get as much playing outside done as possible as of late. (c: And spending lots of time at the coffee shop trying to get some things finished up so I can free up my time and maybe take on a real project here and there.
I've been reading lately too but that's another post all by itself. It will give me some incentive to post more regularly if I leave it for later. hehe. Hopefully at least.
I don't have internet at my house so it makes posting into the wee hours a bit more difficult. Anyway-I'm sitting at the office right now working on some things for tomorrow morning and it occurred to me that while I'm here I could be posting. I'm printing and I've got everything queued up for the next round-just have to wait for technology to do its thang.
The Fringe Festival was a success I do believe-there was some confusion and a lot of improv and required flexibility but I sold lots of jewelry (almost 400 dollars!) and I got to show some new work and stuff like that...always a plus. I also had some jewelry on display for the fashion show this year which was pretty cool. I had a good time too-there were a lot of cool people and despite having to sell jewelry in the parking lot of the venue instead of inside where we all thought we were going to be set up...(as I said, mandatory flexibility) things went well. I had a fantastic designer next to me who not only let me borrow one of their lights so people could actually see what they were shopping for but let me run around in the most gorgeous little shrug I've ever seen for the whole night. Hehe. It was a good time. There was 3 dollar Boulevard beer which was awesome and overall, it worked out pretty well.
I may have found myself a position on the visual arts committee for next years Fringe too...oops. I talk a lot and I have lots of opinions which is not always a good thing I know, but whatever. It needed to work better and I think I could help with that. The kid they had doing it this year got bombarded with two different equally demanding jobs for the Festival and on top of all that, he was getting his ass chewed for not having any information to really give to the artists. So yeah, it needs to have a seperate person in charge. Visual artists-we can be hard to work with, ya know...(c:
I also managed to get the show up at Black Dog Coffee Shop set up. Phew. That was a crazy dash. Remind me to have "spare art" on hand so next time I can just hang stuff and not have to do everything from scratch. Oy.
In other news-been getting some good freelance projects here and there which is good. You can check out my latest creation at: www.maxfearingart.com It's a site I did for a friend of mine who is a local artist. We're trying to get him some web recognition. It's getting there-currently it's a work in progress still but it's on its way. I also did a little bit of work for another friend of mine that I work with....jewelry commissions have been coming in since the Fringe as well. Not enough to pay the bills or buy the totally adorable, must have building that I want in Parkville but ya know. I'll take what I can get. If anyone wins the Powerball and wants to buy me a storefront, you know where to find me. (c:
I'm heading out to Colorado in September to go mountain biking with my boyfriend. It should be a lot of fun. There's a beer fest going on in downtown Denver too that we're going to hit up. That'll be a nice cap to our week out in the mountains camping and biking. Hopefully I don't actually kill myself hehe. We've been going out to a place called Landahl Park in Blue Springs, MO lately that has some really good mountain bike type trails. I know, I live in Kansas, there are no mountains, but this place does a really good job. All naturally cut trails that have lots of technical sections and lots of cool stuff to ride. I dig it a lot. I got a little banged up this weekend but no real battle scars. I was sort of disappointed. (c:
The weather has been crazy hot. I swear God was trying to come through my window last night....it was actually some severe lightening. I really did think that the generator outside my window had been struck....scared me half to death. Today was beautiful-I guess it got all of it out of its system.
Alrighty. Not much else at the moment to really report per se. Just trying to get as much playing outside done as possible as of late. (c: And spending lots of time at the coffee shop trying to get some things finished up so I can free up my time and maybe take on a real project here and there.
I've been reading lately too but that's another post all by itself. It will give me some incentive to post more regularly if I leave it for later. hehe. Hopefully at least.
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